Teenage Mollie: An obituary

So it goes. I'm going to be twenty by the time I post this. WHAT?! I'm no longer a teenage dirtbag??

I'm supposed to be writing a column right now for MOVE so I don't have to do it tomorrow on my birthday but I'm too distracted about getting older! Where is the time going? I honestly don't even remember what I was doing on my last decade birthday for my 10th (mom?? a little help here??).

REST IN PEACE TEENAGE YEARS.

An obituary:

Name: Teenage Mollie Barnes.
Age: 10-19.
Born: 2/19/2003.

She was born in St. Louis, Missouri as the daughter of Jim and Patti Barnes. Teenage Mollie graduated from Lindbergh Senior High in 2011 where she went on to study Multiplatform Design Journalism at Mizzou. She was studying abroad in Milan, Italy, at the Universita del Sacre Cuore when she 'passed' through her teenage years. She was dating Nicholas Berthold.

She got her first job as a lifeguard when she was 15, and then continued to work over the summer where she eventually became manager the last summer of her 'teenage life'. She had many jobs, sometimes 3 or 4 at once, none of which required much actual working, somehow.

She finally overcame her awkward middle school years and threw away all of her Hawthorne Heights t-shirts. She learned to embrace her curly hair after a horrible brush with the "George Washington" haircut. She got her driver's license on her birthday and was finally able to drive her pimpin' new Lincoln Town Car (read: hoopty, land barge, swag wagon) by herself. She loved to drive around with her friends to get QT sodas although she still hadn't grown tired of screaming "I'll make a man out of you" with her friend in the car. She joined a lot of organizations and she quit a lot of others, as well. She went from gymnast to runner to soccer player to diver and finally to swimmer and most recently in college to "sometimes-I-go-to-the-gym-when-I-get-guilty-about-how-long-it-has-been-since-I-checked-in-there-on-foursquare."

She traveled to England, Germany, Arkansas, Alabama, Florida, California, Mexico and many other places with the best of her friends. She marched in the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena, California, and didn't shoot any of the annoying band parents who were utterly dreadful. She picked a major, she picked a school (at the last possible second) and she made some of her very best friends (if you're the diva reading this looking for a shout out, consider this your shout out).

She lost love, she found love. She lost friends, she found friends. She lost family, she gained family.

All in all she will be missed.

She is survived by 20-something Mollie. Watch out world.

It was a teenage dream that's for sure!

xoxo.

I'm sorry did you HONESTLY think you would get through a whole post written by me about my teenage years without seeing this perfect Katy vid? Puhleasseeeee.

Ciao for now!